Disneyland strikes back!

Disneyland management continues to be ireful at the recent theft of Tom Sawyer Island's Fort Wilderness by a group of dissatisfied annual passholders who were angry with the island's pirate overlay. Management has decided that the incident cannot be allowed to go unpunished, but the problem of retribution remains in that they have to date been unable to positively identify the cuplrits.

So the decision was made to punish all annual passholders for the deeds of those few.

"As of August 1," said Head of Corporate Affairs Maria Thornly, "the Disney Gallery will be permanently closed. This will surely come as a blow to Disneyland's annual passholders, many of whom enjoyed wandering its halls and viewing important artwork and memorabilia from Disneyland's past, and concept art hinting at its future. Those few who knew how to actually get a balcony seat for Fantasmic! viewing will surely be doubly disappointed. Perhaps this will cause them to think twice before again attempting to blackmail the Walt Disney Company with threats of petty thievery."

Rumors are that the Disney Gallery will be returned to its former apartment format and made part of Disney's timeshare program.

In related news, Walt Disney World management is currently engaged in battle with passholders over the "magic wand" above Epcot's Spaceship Earth. "They're stealing parts of it as fast as we can repair it," said one maintenance lead, hopped up on too much coffee after days without sleep. Rumor has it that cast members sympathetic to the protestor's dislike for Epcot's current character-heavy trend may be aiding the rebels. How will management retalliate? We'll let you know as soon as we do!

Innoventions at Disneyland is going through a renaissance (or however you spell that) at the moment, adding sponsors like a hyperactive NASCAR driver. Quite a few new sponsors (including Microsoft, Peterson Military Robotics, and the Dreamworks Defamation League) are already active or waiting in the wings, and Siemens has become a significant presence.

The newest addition from Siemens is the Super Driver virtual driving simulator, which -- with incredible realism -- lets visitors experience what it would be like to chase world-destroying evil geniuses using a vehicle with all the latest technology (collision avoidance, autodrive, the ability to drive on the ceiling, and x-ray vision that looks suspiciously like infra-red vision).

It is hoped that future Siemens exhibits will have something to do with products actually produced by Siemens and available in the real world.

They did it! (Well, kinda)

Last week I reported that a group of annoyed Disney fanatics had threatened to steal Fort Wilderness in protest over changes to Tom Sawyer Island. Well, last Wednesday they attempted to make good their threat, and got away with a good portion of the fort before Disneyland security got wise.

"Cast members at the park entrance noticed an unusual number of guests leaving the park with over-sized backpacks that smelled like freshly-sawed wood," said Martin Pately, an anonymous security cast member. "Wood shavings were also being disposed of 'Great Escape' style by guests with bags of sawdust in their pants who would slowly release the detritus as they walked around the park."

Although the attempted theft was not a complete success (from the thieves' perspective), enough of the fort was removed that the rest of it will have to be demolished, costing Disney millions of dollars and leaving countless termites homeless.

One of the fort thieves wrote to DisneyLies over the weekend, saying, "I think we made our point well! Next on the agenda -- if Epcot doesn't stop adding characters to what is supposed to be a science and knowledge-based theme park, we're going to steal the Sorcerer Mickey arm right off Spaceship Earth in 2008!"

Will they do it? Only time will tell!

Annual Passholders Prepare for Revenge!!!

It's been a while since our last post because, frankly, there hasn't been much news regarding Disney (something about a submarine, but that's about it).

However, today we heard what may be the biggest rumor ever in the history of Disneyland. It seems that some annual passholders are VERY upset about the "pirating up" of Tom Sawyer Island and intend to do something about it. They claim that, if Disney does not put the island back "the way Walt wanted it" immediately they will -- and this is a direct quote -- "steal the fort right off the island in broad daylight"!

Now, Disney has big plans for the fort in the coming year so they can't afford to lose the thing. I'm guessing that Disney security is going to be checking people's bags extra carefully over the next few days, looking for band saws and other such implements.

Will Disney cave? Will the "true fans" carry out their threat? Stay tuned for more as the situation develops!

Mouse and Found

The Mouse Planet Web site -- usually viciously on top of current Disneyland news -- yesterday finally noted that Disneyland's Lost Children center moved to the Baby Care Center, thwarting the park's plan to make young Mouse Planet readers stay lost.

Get in early!

This just in -- apparently some people in Disneyland management are none too pleased with Congress' pulling back Daylight Saving Time by three weeks. As sort of a "quiet protest" over the situation, starting tomorrow Disneyland will be rewarding everyone who refuses to change their watches by letting them into Disneyland one hour before the posted opening time!

Enjoy!

New addition to Pirates!

According to current rumor, the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction at both Disneyland and Walt Disney World will be modified again in 2007. Apparently, animatronic figures of the Dali Lama will be placed in both attractions. At Disneyland, the figure will appear in the bayou section, replacing the old man who sits in a rocking chair (a character that generates many complaints, in that some people think that the creaking of his aging joints sounds something like banjo music).

At Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, "Dali" will appear at the very beginning of the cave section, "so as not to interfere with anything further into the attraction." Of course, this completely avoids the question of whether having this figure in the attraction makes sense at all.

So far as we were concerned, adding the Dali Lama to a Caribbean-themed pirate attraction made little sense, and we wondered what the heck Imagineering was thinking. After investigating this further, we discovered that, during a late-night telephone conversation, John Lasseter misunderstood a poorly pronounced "Tia Dalma," and when his orders came down the next day for the addition of the Dali Lama figure, nobody had the guts to stand up and say he was completely insane.

Go figure.